Not being able to sleep this one night a few years back during Halloween, I twisted and turned in bed, and turning toward the hallway, I noticed a dim light coming from the kitchen. Rising from my bed I decided to walk to the kitchen and see what could have possibly turned the light dimmer on.

As I approached the kitchen, I stopped & caught my breath. My heart was pounding, as I could hear as clear as day, voices. I knew those voices, but from where!? I tiptoed slowly, my heart pounding out of my chest. I saw a door slightly ajar, with the light softly shining through the crack of the door. I wanted to turn back & run, but at the same time, I wanted to follow those familiar voices. As I peeked through, my eyes widened as my mouth dropped open. Could it be? No! What I was seeing was not possible! And yet I knew I was awake...this was no dream! I stepped forward & came face to face with a little girl. Her dark hair sticking out from underneath a familiar mask. A mask I knew from long ago. She raised her mask. I couldn't mistake those shinning green eyes. Eyes bright with the excitement of most young children's second favorite holiday, after Christmas. Tears welled up in my eyes as I realized I was seeing a nine year old 'me'! There I stood in the costume lovingly crafted for me by my Mom. We couldn't afford the store bought costumes like many of my friends wore. As I looked at the costume, tears blinded my eyes. How could I have ever been ashamed of not being able to buy a costume that thousands of other children across our nation were probably wearing that night? If only I could go back & thank my Mom for the thought & love she had put into my costume!

As I was lost in grateful thought, a familiar voice broke through...it was the little girl - 'my voice'! She asked if I was ready to go back into time, just this one night. Ready? I was more than ready! She held out her hand to me. "Just remember, you can see everyone tonight, but no one can see you except me." At this point, all that mattered, was getting to go back in time to childhood! I took her (my!??) small hand into my much larger one now.

We stepped through the door. Instead of seeing my street, I stepped onto the street of the little town that I grew up in. This 'had' to be a dream, & if it was, I hoped I wouldn't wake up just yet!

Before I knew it, off I went down the street with friends that I'd enjoyed many trick or treat nights with. There were my best childhood friends, Tina, Debbie, Jane, Roger, Gary...& I had to laugh as memories came flooding back quickly. Memories & friends that I'd thought about so often through the passing years. There was Roger, with his king size pillow case, ready to fill it as full as he could with all the treats waiting behind the door of each home we went to. There was Gary, with the red wagon he pulled every single year. Jane, with her laugh & every single year costume....a witch. Tina & Debbie in their always elaborate costumes. As always, they were scared, as Roger told his yearly ghost & goblin stories. Stories that made me hide under my blankets once the night was over.

As we walked along, I thought 'how could this be happening'? I was over-joyed to get to go back & experience every single moment of this night. I loved watching the nine year old me. It felt surreal to see me walking along with my friends on the crooked sidewalks of our little town. Oh the memories that flooded my mind, & that I was now getting to relive! The pushing back of the masks from our sweaty faces, until we approached the next home, when we'd put them back down over our faces. The sound of barking dogs in the distance. Dogs that Roger tried to convince us were werewolves, but in reality they were frightened of all the strange creatures walking from house to house on this night. The sound of crackling leaves underneath our feet as we walked. Crackling leaves, but Roger tried to convince us that what we were really hearing was the sound of snapping bones as we walked upon them. Even though I was smart enough to know that wasn't true, why did his stories scare us all on this night? I had always wondered if it was only in my mind, that there always seemed to be a full moon each Halloween when I was a child. But there it was on this night - a moon so bright & so big, that when we went through the dark areas between houses, it was there to light our way. I had to smile as I looked at the younger me - as always, she kept looking up at that big light, to be assured that the night wasn't as scary as some try to make it be. I knew her - knew how scared she was after listening to Roger's stories. I knew as much as she wanted the treats awaiting her behind the door of each home, she kept thinking about how she couldn't wait to see the familiar car of her Mom & Dad. She knew once she was with them, she would feel warm & safe. At that memory, I gasped! My Mom & Dad were no longer here, but would I be seeing them again tonight too!? Would I see all my brothers & sisters? My excitement built!

As I walked alongside the happy group, I listened to the chatter between the younger me & my old childhood friends. How funny to hear the debate on whether or not werewolves were real. Was the old home that two older sisters lived alone in, really haunted? No one would chance finding out, & sadly, that house always got skipped over by all trick or treaters. Roger tried to convince us that he 'knew' Dracula was real, because he got bit by him once. He also tried to convince us that one of the sisters was a real witch. He knew, because he swears he saw her flying on a broom once. I believed him on everything then, but now I chuckled as I listened. I thought about how funny it was, because his big stories never stopped - even when he would become an adult.

Before long, we joined up with a couple of my siblings & some of my nieces & nephews. Tears stung at my eyes, as I longed to run hug them. But then I remembered - I could see them, but they could not see me. Maybe that was a good thing, as I wouldn't want to ruin this night for them with my tears. But oh how I ached to put my arms around my brother Charles! He, like Mom & Dad, was no longer with us. Soon those tears turned to laughter, & it was good that they couldn't hear me, because I was laughing so hard at his stories from the night so far. How I missed his stories now! Throughout his life, he made everyone laugh. He gave our whole little group a sense of security, because each Halloween we would try to avoid running into a bigger boy named Robert. He was more or less a bully, & had long since outgrown trick or treating. That didn't stop him from getting candy though, because he'd take from every child he decided to. I thought how sad as they hid from him, because I now knew that he sadly never outgrew this taking of things that weren't his, throughout his entire life. Thankfully, each year my brother Charles made sure that none of us lost a single piece of candy to him, & it was no different on this night. How it warmed my heart to see my younger self put her small hand into his as they walked! She had always felt safe with him.

As we went from door to door, I stood back & watched as the younger me approached the doors of many of my parent's friends. They had loved me as much as they loved my parents. In our little town, each parent kept on eye out for all the children in the town. They cared about how we grew up, & they were committed to seeing that we all grew up well. Tears of joy, as well as tears of sadness flowed as I saw the younger version of them. The version I remembered before they grew older. Most were now gone. I loved the sweetness of how each family tried to guess who was behind each mask before they slipped our treat into our bag. I watched my younger self - how her eyes danced with glee as many couldn't guess her. As I watched, I now realized many pretended not to know me. They played the game for us, & I smiled.

As we walked along, each took inventory of their treats. I watched a familiar childhood scene as we bartered & traded candies we weren't fond of, for those we had hoped we'd get. I watched as the younger me tried to trade for the treats that she knew my parents would love to have, or my older brothers & sisters that had outgrown trick or treating. They had outgrown the trick or treating, but not the treats! I smiled as she told the others that she couldn't wait to show her parents what she'd gotten for them.

We walked along for another hour or so, when suddenly we saw the porch lights & the inside lights of many homes begin to go dark. I wanted to cry out "Please! Let's stay later!" Could this night have went by this quickly! The streets had only a handful of trick or treaters left. I knew this night would soon be nothing but a memory. A memory just like the many that I carried in my heart from these nights. And then I heard it! The sound of a car driving up, & a familiar sweet voice calling out "Judy! Time to go home now! Tell your friends good night!" Oh Mom! Dad! My heart broke as I saw them. So young, so vibrant! I started to run to them, but stopped when I realized that they couldn't see me. The younger me walked up to me & smiled. "I have to go home now. Can you find your way back?" As I choked back tears, I told her "Yes. I believe I can." I gently reached out & touched her. Touched a face that my Mom had always said was as round as the full moon that shined over us that night. A face not yet touched by time & the happenings of her life. How I wanted to talk to her - to tell her so many things. I wanted to tell her to treasure not only this night, but every single day of her childhood. I wanted to tell her how very quickly it would all be past. How she'd think back to these nights a million times as she grew older. How I wished I could tell her that she'd only have her Dad a few more years, so to make sure she gave him every one of his favorite candy bars from her bag - Payday candy bars. The same candy bar that he brought home to her every single week on his payday from work. I wanted to tell her to run back & give each of her friends that had shared her life from before preschool, the biggest hug she could give them. Because I knew. I knew the heartache a few were going to face in the future. I knew she wouldn't have some of them for as many years as she would hope. I knelt down & took her face into my hands. I stared into the same eyes that I now look into everyday when I look into a mirror. My heart leapt as I saw the innocence staring back at me.
"I want to tell you something."
The younger me, looked at me expectantly. "Yes?", she softly said.
"Umm...Thank you. Thank you for inviting me along tonight. I've relived nights like this seemingly a million times in my mind - wishing that somehow, I could have just one more opportunity to enjoy it one more time. I never dreamed it was possible. Thank you."
I pulled her too me, holding her as tight as I could. Her little arms draped tightly around me.
"My Mom & Dad are waiting. I have to go now."
I released my grip on her. "Yes, they are. You run along & give them a hug for me. Promise me one more thing?"
"What?"
"Enjoy them. Enjoy your family. 'Our' family. Enjoy childhood. You have a wonderful life ahead of you!"

Before I could say anything else, she was skipping off towards the car. The car I remembered riding in so many times. I watched as she jumped in. I waved, & smiled as she kept waving as they drove down an oh so familiar road from my childhood. The road 'home'. As the car lights faded out of view, I smiled & longed to be with her as I thought of how they would pull into their drive & walk into their home. I knew what would follow. Mom would tell her & my siblings to get ready for bed while she fixed them hot chocolate. Then they'd all sit down & scatter out the treats in the middle of the table & share the bounty of the night. They'd laugh as stories were shared from the evening. And as always, Mom would assure the younger me that Roger's stories weren't true before I went off to bed. After all the goodnights were said, I knew my younger self would still not be so sure that Roger's stories weren't true, & I'd want to snuggle up with Mom & Dad instead of going off to bed alone. How I envied that little girl! After snuggles were done, I smiled as I remembered how I knew what she'd be met with next. First, she'd turn off her light & try to make a flying leap into her bed, to make sure nothing would grab her feet from underneath her bed. I wondered what she'd think if she knew that even as an adult, she would do that a few times. Second, two of her older brothers would always make scary noises that she could hear from under her blankets. Noises that scared her too death, & that went on until her Mom would call out that all monsters needed to be asleep, or they'd lose any chance of getting more candy the next day. Monsters must like candy, because the noises would stop then.

Smiling, I turned to make my way back to the light that had intrigued me earlier. I walked silently along the now quiet empty streets. I passed the familiar homes from my childhood, smiling as I remembered the people those homes had sheltered. I stopped, & longed to go inside many of them. Homes I'd spent many days & hours in as a child. Friend's homes.

I walked along, & before I knew it, the streets from childhood faded into a now familiar street & I saw the glow from the light shining from the door that had been left slightly ajar from earlier. This was my house. I turned back to look at the streets I'd been on only moments before, but I only saw the familiar homes on my own street. Had I been dreaming?? No, I was wide awake. I could feel, I could think....I was definitely awake. I stepped to my door with the light still glowing. Before I stepped through, I paused, closed my eyes, & thanked God for this night. I opened my eyes & walked through the door. As I leaned against it, I softly murmured words I'd spoken many times before on Halloween night since becoming an adult - "I wish I may, I wish I might, be a child again, just for tonight." I smiled & thought, 'wishes do come true sometimes'!

With that, I went inside & walked back to my bedroom. As I stepped inside my room, the soft light went off. I found my way to my bed, & I smiled as I saw the light of the moon washing over another little green eyed girl that had found her way into our bed. I knew that one day, she too would look back in time & make the same wish that I had made so many times before. The wish that had been granted tonight. I crawled into bed & snuggled up to her. I knew I'd never forget this night...the night in which wishes became a reality. I'd never see Halloween the same again! I drifted off into a deep, satisfied sleep.